


Regret and Anguish

by DoulaMom



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 21:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoulaMom/pseuds/DoulaMom
Summary: Marcus regrets the ultimatum he gave to Abby.Abby realizes that it has come time to face her addiction or lose everything.





	Regret and Anguish

"So I need you to choose. Me or the pills."

God, the words sounded even more devastating falling from his lips than he could have ever imagined. He could pinpoint the exact second that Abby's heart cracked in half. He saw it happen, the way she flinched ever so slightly, almost as if she could feel the realization come into contact with her physically.

 _What was I thinking? An ultimatum! How could I be so stupid? Did I honestly believe she would choose me?_  
His thoughts accosted him, battering his already bruised pride.

He had thought she would choose him. And that had been his mistake.

 _I've lost her. I've pushed her too far. I swore I'd stand by her, and now this?_

Marcus paced back and forth in the cramped church, willing himself to run back and tell her it had all been a terrible mistake. That he'd never leave her. Never make her go through this torture alone. He'd be by her side, through anything.

But he'd made his decision. He had to stick by it, right?

_She'll never come back. She'll hate you forever._

They taunted him, digging right to the heart of his deepest fears.

_She has to quit. She'll die if she doesn't. She'll die if I leave._

Feeling like a caged bird, he left the church, walking the short distance back to the gas station, begging for a sign from the universe that it would be ok to take it all back. He just wanted her to live.  
He looked at Abby through the window, still examining Diyoza, back in a professional mode. She showed no signs of devastation, but surely she must be feeling something. Right?

After several minutes, he saw Diyoza leave. He was determined to give her a few minutes to think alone, but then he heard a metallic crash. Then Abby, sobbing.  
He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to go to her.

Anguish-Abby  
Once she heard the door close behind Diyoza, Abby slammed a tray of instruments down in front of her, and crumpled to the floor. She heard his words echo inside her throbbing head.  
_"So I need you to choose. Me or the pills."_

They tore through her, blazing a path of fire that settled into a bone-deep ache as she sobbed. 

She wanted to choose him. God, didn't he see how badly she wanted that? But she couldn't. They'd all die. She'd never make it through detox. Not in this state. And if she couldn't find a cure, he'd be the first. 

The bile rose in her throat at the thought. Her breathing became shallow and fast, and as she struggled to force air into her lungs, her body was wracked with a coughing fit. She crawled to her hands and knees, heaving, and vomited on the dusty floor. Of course it was that moment that she heard the heavy thunk of his boots in the hall.

"Abby? Are you alright?" He ran to her side, pulling the hair back from her face as she took a gasping breath.

"I'm fine, Marcus." she spat, yanking her head from his hands and collapsing against the wall.

"Abby, I'm sorry. Please let me help." he begged, but she refused to look at him. 

"Why did you come back?" she questioned, her voice cold as ice.

"I don't want to do this any more than you do, Abby." his voice was low, but steady.

"I know you think you gave me a choice, Marcus, but I have no choice here. Either I choose the pills and keep functioning or we all die."

"We always have a choice Abby." he repeated, echoing her sentiments from long ago.

"How dare you throw that in my face now? Do you honestly expect me to let you die?" she yelled, her voice cracking.

"You can beat this, Abby, you're strong." he pleaded.

"Not anymore. I think you should leave." she replied, almost a whisper. 

With that she pulled herself off the floor, and grabbed the tray of instruments resting on the stretcher, heading to wash them in the makeshift sink. There was nothing more to say.  
This time Marcus listened, the echo of his boots louder than the thumping of her heart.


End file.
